It's Okay
by ImpastaMan
Summary: Gerita Oneshot, a rewrite of my old fanfiction never published here by the name 'Sleepless' starring Italy! You can read that in Chapter 2, this is mostly a comparison of when I first started writing (This January) and where I'm up to now (August). Enjoy!
1. It's Okay

The scratching in his head was offered a surge of happiness, though the invitation was spurned by the tossing and turning as he ruffled the coarse blanket; lying to himself that a peaceful slumber would soon take him away. He gripped the sheets tighter as he fought the inept of sleep, the soft grunts of his German alliance registering with him and alerting him to shuffle away. The norm every night now was for the suffering male to sneak up in his room, attempt to sleep in his bed and get kicked out a few times before he successfully was able to sleep in the familiar safety that he rely on.

Though the comfort of that same feeling seemed to be absent, he glanced back at his ally – ceasing his hand from making contact with his hair, the desire of running his fingers through it and admiring him all too much. He swung his spindly legs over the bed, a slight shaking starting to control his figure. He slowly stepped over to peer out the window, the coolness of the glass pressing on his hand relaxing. Tonight was one of the few immaculate nights, myriad stars dancing within the inky mantle blending in the sky and withheld the bright moon - he patiently waited for the clouds to succumb to its light as they would surpass in time.

He lingered by the glass pane as he watched the night slip by his finger tips, the light dragging over the man still asleep; his features clear, the occasional nose twitch and a heavy knot between his brows. He slept like a soldier, his legs and arms extended by his side – Feliciano came to the conclusion that he couldn't possibly be comfortable, but the German was stubborn and would pay no heed to his efforts in helping him. Ludwig was his best friend and ally and he cared only for his well-being; even if his physical punishments only installed fear into his shaken struck body. He balled his fist and let it relax, twisting his wrist round to scan over his entire hand. He'd lived for so many years, he forgot what it was like to feel real.

Feliciano was always that person who you'd find agitating, clawing at your face wishing he'd stop the constant nagging; at least that's the impression he gathered from his other fellow personifications. In reality, he was trying to be that one person who'd smile through it all and for him it was an easy feat. He'd been through so much already, he didn't know what happiness meant – but he knew what it meant to others. He was a weak nation, spent all his effort into helping his peers that he left none for himself; Ludwig spent all his time endeavouring at making him stronger but alas nothing had been successful as of yet.

He cracked the window open, the biting winds of the outside numbing his skin but it had no effect on the warm tears of his past mimicking rain as they stained his eyes. The soft cries of pain lost within the night, cupping his own face as a clumsy attempt at salvaging any broken parts of himself – it wasn't of any use. A loud thump vibrated through the house, dropping to his knees and slumping against the wall; shaking violently as his shirt rode up his stomach. Claws scratching at the floorboards soon made themselves clear when a large German Shepard emerged through the door with a soft creak, making his way toward the crying subject. He was a grand dog at that, but held empathy for the man, pushing his muzzle up to him and resting his head under his chin. Feliciano ran a hand down his fur, his tears still blatantly refusing to stop.

" _H-Hello Blackie..._ " Blackie gave a grunt in return, licking his face clean of tears. He giggled softly watching the Dog's ears twitch madly from the grunts of Ludwig who soon sat up, a sharp gasp capturing Feliciano quickly. He tried to stay secluded but the contour of both him and the animal was too obvious to disregard, Ludwig soon making his way toward them both with a heavily confused expression.

"Feliciano," He said, "What are you doing?"

He found that that was nearly impossible to answer, the words slipping from his mouth as he couldn't assemble a simple sentence.

"Feliciano, answer me."

" _Nothing._ "

"Then why are you crying?"

He sniffled and rested his face within Blackie's coat, feeling the comforting velvety collar around his neck. Though he soon lost that privilege as he was called away and out the room, yellow light swarming the very same room when Ludwig turned the light on and crouched in front of him. Feliciano pulled his large shirt down over himself, hanging his head. That rebel curl jutting from his head had been twisting and twitching in agony as it matched his pain, clutching the area near his heart as the sobs rolled harder and faster. The blonde sat on the ground and rested a hand on one of the whimpering Italian's legs; the cryptic look replaced with concern. He didn't quite capture what sort of incoherent speakings Feliciano had uttered between his hurt, waiting for him to calm down.

.

It was long into the night, he had eventually heaved his head up to look back at Ludwig – the pain clear and shrouding his eyes in the rarity that they were ever open.

" _I'm not good enough anymore, am I Ludwig?_ " The question had caught him off, he had no idea what he was implying by it but he shook his head.

"Of course you're good enough, what in the world are you on about?"

He could hear the soft scraping as Feliciano dug his nails further into the crooks of the wood, hissing slightly at his response.

" _I'm not good enough for you, I'm not good enough for anybody...not even myself._ " He mustered a large, sharp breath and let it linger as a sigh. Ludwig's entire face twitching into shock,

"Please don't think like tha-"

" _Stop. Just stop. I'm never good enough, and I never will be. I'm nothing but dead-weight, let me go._ "

"No."

" _Let me go! You don't need me!_ "

"I need you as much as you need me, that's not in question."

Feliciano soon had cried long into the night, at the crack of dawn was he finally capable of getting himself to his feet.

* * *

I wish the outcome of this could've turned out like the other, I just felt like it was too cliche! Plus this related to me more and I like to explore Feliciano's character, so hope you enjoy!

(The next chapter is the old version of this story. It needs to be **burned**.)


	2. PLEASE BURN THIS

Tossing and turning, constantly flinging his side of the blanket over himself; telling himself he would fall asleep soon. Obviously it didn't work, so he soon gave up. Feliciano just couldn't get to sleep, he was drunk with fatigue yet his body was physically inept at falling asleep that night. He turned himself back over, only to meet the face of his German friend. He had snuck into his bed again like any other night he would, but something felt...off. He stared down at the figure before him, Ludwig's tank top hugged his torso nicely; so as to show off all he well built abs. On any other night, Feliciano would admire and adore watching his German Nation sleep so peacefully. But tonight, the Italian's large grin had soon faded into a small frown as thoughts ran round his head, frantically trying to sort out his emotions. Feliciano whimpered a little bit, cowering under the soft fabric. He poked his head out again, then using his arms to prop himself against the headboard; looking down at his Ludwig. He huddled his legs up into his chest, burying his face in them; peeking out a bit so as to still be able to see his German. Tears welled up in his eyes, a few dripping down onto his bare knees, spilling onto the sheets below. In just a matter of minutes the patch beneath where he sat had a thin layer of tear stains; making him more uncomfortable,

"I-I'm so...so sorry Ludwig..." Feliciano muttered under his breath, still managing to choke between his words, "You...you try so hard...you try so hard to make me a better country...You only care for my well being..." Feliciano let more tears spill as not only feelings of guilt filled him, but the tears and emotions of rejection. He knew he liked this man more then a friend. He knew that for a long time, "And I-I'm just a failure..." The Italian nation wiped his tears away with the back of his hand, letting his back slide down the back of the bed. His eyes stung, bloodshot and sore. His cheeks felt puffy and red as the tears dripped down to his jaw, spilling onto his knees which he dug his nails into. At that moment in time, he felt like screaming. But he concealed it, he wouldn't want to wake him up and explain anything. He didn't want to say anything, he didn't want to ruin what they had. Feliciano slumped onto his side, lifting his head up to see the Indigo blue eyes of Ludwig open, overwhelmed with concern and guilt. He hooked his arm round the Italian's waist and pulled him in close to his chest, he could feel his Breath becoming a bit uneasy,

"Feli..." Feliciano could feel a sudden warmth as he hugged him tighter, "Please...Please don't say things like that" Ludwig nuzzled the top of his Italian's hair, a few sniffles escaping him, "You're not a failure...I promise you" He pulled him away, only to stare into the stained Hazel eyes of the Italian Nation, a sight which he never wanted to witness. Drawing in the biggest breath he could, he let out a deep sigh, a small smile on his lips.

"Ich liebe dich." He breathed gently. Feliciano's eyes shot open, in a state of pure shock. But his mouth twitched until a grin bigger then his usual was shown; it actually scared Ludwig a little.

"Ti amo!" Feliciano cried, wrapping his arms around the other's neck, "Grazie! Grazi-" After having enough of the Italian's blabber, Ludwig smashed his lips against Feliciano's in a small, but passionate kiss. Pulling apart, Feliciano's eyes sparkled with a tint of love in them, staring up at his German dreamily. The Italian Nation sighed, nuzzling himself into the taller male's chest. Feliciano's feelings had finally sorted themselves out, finding out that the source of his insomnia, was in fact because of the German who stood before him. The German who helped him through so many things. The German who had saved him countless times from being captured by Arthur. The list went on and he named many things in his head that this amazing man had done for him, all by himself. The Italian took pride In saying that he could call him his,

"Grazie..." Feliciano breathed before his eyelids dropped, his fatigue finally winning the battle against his body. He felt safe.

* * *

 **BURN THIS**. BURN THIS IN A PIT OF FIRE WITH ALL MY SINS. _OH DEAR GOD BURN THIS_. **B U R N**.


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